Chapter Seven
Bureaucracy of the Afterlife™

Ending the world was only half the problem. The other half was what to do with everyone afterwards. The Department of Mild Concern, already stretched thin, proposed a new division: the Bureaucracy of the Afterlife™.

High Astraeus attended the inaugural meeting. The agenda included: soul intake forms, post-mortem orientation sessions, eternity allocation, and grievance procedures for the recently deceased. The tone was professional. The subject matter was not.

“We’ll need a ticketing system,” said one administrator.
“We already have one,” replied High Astraeus. “It’s called religion.”
The room fell silent. No one wanted that integration project.

The Bureau drafted a brochure:

Welcome to the Afterlife™
Please take a number.
Your eternity will begin shortly.

The universe did not object. It simply wondered how long humans would continue to invent paperwork for experiences they did not yet understand.